my god is the fire.

Paavo Harker used to dream of fire. 

His mind no longer offered what he considered beautiful, living paintings. The pain that wracked his body would help cradle him to blessful delirium. Watercolor portraits of all consuming rivers of flame would erupt from the cracks of blank city concrete. Descending warriors with damaged wings fell from the clouds to collide with the ground and spill out brilliant colors. He would watch those colors churn and whirl, turn to clay and form the mountains of Earth. Neon colored angels would tell him the stories of creation as they kissed his lips, caressed his wounds and drowned him in the purple and black oceans of subconscious.  He would awaken again to the pain and the blood but the dreams sustained him. When the world ended, he no longer had to dream to see the fire and the angels.

The cascades of sharp pain that greeted him every morning were distant. The aches were pushed deep down and replaced with something heavier. He couldn’t open his eyes. Beyond the dark was an invisible wall. Paavo could feel the blood behind his skin. He took time to rediscover his arms and legs and found all his limbs were still attached. The black wall pressed down and pinned him flat. Something sour poured into his mouth when he cried out. The taste of dust and dirt hit his tongue. He turned his head as far as he could to his sides to empty his mouth. Little points of light cut through the unfamiliar darkness. His eyes followed the points of light like stars in a night sky. He felt warmth. Behind the weight of the dirt, was sunlight. 

What was in the darkness had not yet crushed him. Paavo took deep, measured breaths and worked one arm free and then a hand. Above the soil, he could hear thudding sounds and screams. After one hand was free, he slowly inched and worked free another hand. There was something else pouring from above, also attempting to press down on his body. Paavo could taste sand in his mouth as well. He turned to his sides to keep from being flattened. Paavo wormed for small pockets of air. The little points of light above him changed and grew in size behind the descent of dirt. Once both hands were free, he could dig. His hands moved on instinct. Hunger pangs hit his stomach like bullets. Sweat had soaked his body. Something began to itch and burn across his chest. 

Paavo continued to push the soil and sand. He used those pockets of air to breathe and pull himself upright. The dirt that kept his legs down began to buckle as he slipped one leg free, then another. The points of sunlight above created dull shadows. He could see nothing but miles of wasteland at first. As he looked up, his vision of the world was twisted. There were colonies of dirt that stretched beneath the horizon of yellow sea. Paavo touched his face with his hands. His tongue lapped across his teeth. He pushed against the endless earth. He pulled himself up and embraced the dirt that had nearly devoured him. The dimmed lights above coalesced into a beacon that called to him. Paavo grabbed handfuls of dirt until he found pieces solid enough to hold his weight. Soon after, he found places in the dark to hold his feet. The soil no longer pushed down but instead, it had held him. It made space for him to climb. Silently, he praised the earth for letting him go.

Whoever had attempted to bury him, did not dig deep enough.

The thudding sound had stopped but the screaming did not. Paavo was soon greeted by the sun. He closed his eyes to keep them from drying out. There was new pain that introduced itself as he pulled free of the soil and out from his grave. He took small glimpses of his surroundings. His hands were bloodied. The black blazer, pants and dress shirt that covered him were stained with streaks and pools of red. His black hair was stained with sweat, blood and sand. Red lines ran down and stained his brown boots. He heard a weak whimper behind him. The thin man in black, sickly and pale, turned and saw a young boy, shaking and holding a shovel.

“Did you bury me?” asked Paavo.

“Not all the way,” said the boy.

His hair was shaved down to nothing. A metal ring stuck out from his lower lip. 

“Thank you,” Paavo said, unaffected.

In the distance, a striking sky of azure that bled out shapes of silver sat behind the sun. Between the gusts of wind, he heard screams. A gang of men took turns smashing their faces together. They pushed and ripped at each other. They moved between fighting each other and trying to lift something he could not make out. The men were covered in blood of their own, maybe his. Their pants were shades of stained brown, ripped and tattered. Their shirts and boots were decorated with red streaks and holes. Their jackets were spiked and covered in patches of faded graffiti.

“What’s your name, kid?” asked Paavo.

“Joshua,” the boy sighed.

The name was familiar. There were flashes of words exchanged with a woman. She had the kid’s dark hair and auburn skin. She served him tea in the kitchen of a small white house and showed him a photograph. He remembered her tears. She showed him the burned houses and all the graves that were dug in town because of “them”. He made a promise to her.

“I was supposed to bring you back home,” said Paavo.

“I know,” was all the boy said.

Paavo saw what young Joshua was wearing, a cleaner uniform then the others. The boy had the same style vest. The gang continued to scream and spit in each other’s faces. They were ravenous. Paavo’s eyes finally settled on the object they fought over. It was a sword. The thing was massive. The men were trying to lift the sword. Each one of them failed. Paavo looked back to see a stain of blood on the shovel in Joshua’s hands.

“Did you hit me with the shovel?” Paavo asked.

“No, I swear,” he pleaded.

“It’s okay,” said Paavo.

Further from the scene, a long patch of gray highway cut across a tapestry of sand, grass and valleys of red and orange stone. Two vehicles sat off to the side of the road. Both were large jeeps with shattered glass. One was missing its tires. Paavo knew which one must have been his.

“Where are you from, Joshua?”

“Osaki,” he said.

The name of the city triggered more images no longer buried by the pain. Paavo saw highway signs and mile markers. He remembered the fire in a bottle that hit the side of his jeep. The crash threw him from his seat. He saw the colors of the sky and then felt his face breaking glass. Paavo looked back at the gang. There were four of them. Two of them were shaved bald with cuts and scars that decorated their skin. The others had shades of pink and blue staining their hair. Paavo felt for the gun that was supposed to be in his holster. The space was empty. The word “Bastards” was sprayed in dripping white paint across each of their backs. Joshua’s vest did not have the same badge.

“Do you have my gun?” asked Paavo.

The boy fumbled in his own jean pockets until he found a safe grip on the Desert Eagle.

“Here,” whimpered Joshua.

Paavo took his weapon back. 

“Thanks,” he mumbled.

The clip was still there, but was missing its bullets. He quietly holstered the gun and turned back to the boy.

“Initiation?” he asked.

“Yeah. They grabbed me in the middle of the night. I swear I haven’t hurt anyone.”

The mother said the Bastards took young kids out to the hills and made them dig holes. The kids either came home terrified or they ended up joining the cause. There were whispers that the bodies they threw down into the earth were all twisted up, the skin of their victims shades of green and gray.

“They told me to just bury the bodies.” 

Paavo looked around across the desert. He wondered how many bodies were put down in the dirt like his own.

“Bandits?” he asked.

The boy shook his head. 

“They run the desert. Where we live, they’re the law. They’re murderers,” he said.

Pieces of his memory returned. There were brief flashes of faces in a darkened bar, driving on roads, chasing the sun down. The images came and went from what felt like dreams. Paavo looked out towards the highway and saw the edges of the town behind the mountains. He remembered walking past bombed out buildings and streets stained with blood. Paavo recalled the faces of people in the bar when he first arrived and how they salivated over the sword. He took care to hide it from everyone until he could no longer.

“How many holes have you dug so far, kid?”

“Just a few like yours,” said Joshua.

How many days had it been since he sat in the white kitchen and promised to bring him back? 

“I never wanted to join, okay? They would’ve done worse to me or my mom if I didn’t,” Joshua pleaded.

Paavo waved his hand. The boy kept his mouth shut. Paavo felt behind his shirt. He searched his skin until it felt like his own. He was searching for something. He was searching for that itching feeling on his chest. 

The screams stopped and the Bastards turned their attention back to the two at the top of the hill. The blue haired Bastard held out a machete towards them both. 

“You’re supposed to be dead!” he screamed.

Paavo found what he was looking for. The hole in his chest was wide enough for him to stick his hand inside. There was something inside. Paavo felt his heart and its weak pulse. There it was, he thought; the source of that familiar pain. The memories of cold mornings in the city feeling, cursing his heart chilled him. The heart was a machine, and it still continued on. His hand was stained with blood when he pulled it back. Joshua was frozen in place.

“You know it’s time to go home, right?” asked Paavo, as he wiped the blood on his shirt.

The men slowly walked towards him and the boy. 

“Yeah,” Joshua said. He gripped the shovel, unsure of what to do.

“Do they have my bullets?” he asked.

“No. He does,” said Joshua.

“He?” asked Paavo.

All the sound in his ears was gone. Something heavy hit the back of his head. His body crumbled. His face smashed into the sand. Joshua tensed and took a step back. A new voice echoed in the haze.

“You’re a hard one to keep down,” it said.

A combat boot struck Paavo in the cheek that drove his head back into the sand.

“Vale, I’m sorry,” Joshua whimpered.

“It’s alright, kid,” said the voice.

Paavo wiped the blood from his mouth and felt the traces of sand on his face. He looked up to see Vale. He was another sunkissed, orange desert freak like the Bastards slowly closing in. Black sunglasses covered his eyes. His jacket was blackened and frayed. Branches of gray ink danced and spiraled down his shoulders and arms. Smooth gray hair jutted out from the side of his scarred head. Gold plated teeth stabbed out from his smile.

“We’re a brotherhood of understanding and forgiveness,” said Vale.

A gunshot cut the silence. One of the Bastards fired at Paavo and barely missed. Vale looked up and returned fire at his own people. His bullet did not.

“Fuck are you doing, Scab?!” he screamed.

The blue haired Bastard fell over to the sand.

“We need him alive!”

Vale’s men looked down. They left their partner to get up on his own. Paavo noticed that his vest had stopped the bullet. The Bastards had armor.

“We need him to tell us how it works,” Vale said. 

The leader of the Bastards squatted down and pulled a blade of his own.

“What’s that?” asked Paavo.

“The sword,” said Vale.

“We’ve been watching you for a while now, little man. I’ve seen you carry that thing like it’s nothing. My boys are much bigger than you. We’ve been here for hours and they can’t lift it. So, how does it work?”

Paavo looked past the gang to the sword of stone. 

“You want it?” he asked.

Vale’s fist cracked the other side of Paavo’s face.

“It’s already ours. Show us how to carry it, or we carve you up,” he said.

Paavo smirked.

“Can you help me up?” 

Vale nodded.

“That’s a good boy,” he smiled.

The leader looked out to the desert and then signaled to his crew. 

“Boys, can you help our new friend please?”

The Bastards sauntered over and pulled Paavo to his feet. They pushed him towards the sword of stone. Vale stood next to Joshua. He wrapped his arm around the kid’s neck and pulled him close. Paavo looked back at Joshua. He was shaking. The kid was terrified. 

“Don’t worry about this young man. He’s in good hands,” shouted Vale.

Paavo met eyes with the kid. A hand grabbed his arm. 

“Thought you could outmaneuver us, eh?” asked the blue haired one. Paavo tried to remember what the leader called him. Scab?

“Can’t touch us. Can’t touch Vale. We’re on a mission. You don’t know what’s out there. There’s monsters in the sand.” 

Paavo felt the edge of a knife in his back as he walked towards the massive weapon. 

“How do you use that big shit anyway? What are you, like, 150 pounds?” asked Scab.

He looked back to see the blue haired one was further away, his gun pointed right at him.

“Pick it up, yeah?” shouted another one.

Paavo did not answer. The sword was seven feet in length and three feet in width. The blade’s texture was akin to dormant magma; with almost decorative waves of dead ash and melted rock. Dark minerals formed the handle, with cold, jagged lines carved into the stone, rough to the touch.  He found a familiar space in the stone for his fingers to grip. Paavo began to move the weapon from its place in the ground. It felt weightless to him.

The men behind him were in shock. One of them called out to Vale to take a closer look. Paavo pulled the sword from the sand and swung it hard in a circle. Half of the crew were knocked down in an instant. The blue haired Bastard howled and opened fire. Paavo turned the weapon to its side to deflect the bullets. He took another swing that felled the shooter and dropped the sword on the three Bastards still trying to get to their feet. Scab’s gun hit the sand and its handle stuck out. The weight of the weapon pushed the Bastards back down to the hot sand. Paavo held his breath and threw a right cross that stunned Scab. The gun was in Paavo’s hand. He met eyes with their leader, who held his knife to Joshua’s neck.

“Mister! Please!” the kid screamed.

The men pinned down struggled to slide out from under the massive stone weapon. It was too heavy for them.

“Well played, friend!” said Vale.

Paavo stared through him. 

“Good to know you can fight a bit.”

The thin man in black aimed the revolver at the Bastard’s forehead.

“So, tell me. How does it work?” Vale continued to bark.

Paavo looked down to the sword. 

“I don’t know,” he said.

Vale laughed.

“You don’t? You just swung that thing like it was nothing,” he said.

Paavo looked at the weapon and then at his hand.

“It’s in my blood.”

“You’re lying,” Vale said.

“We’ve seen everything out here, things you can’t even imagine. Don’t play with us. What is it? Some kind of magic?”

Paavo said nothing.

“Listen. You’re not going to like how this ends,” said Vale.

The leader of the Bastards pointed his knife at Paavo. His other hand squeezed Joshua’s throat tighter.

“Take the sword off my boys or we bury two bodies out here tonight. Maybe we bury the kid’s family, too.”

The mention of family drove Joshua into a frenzy. Vale kept his grip on the boy. The edge of the knife against his throat stopped him from resisting.

“Maybe I take your sword and that woman of yours for myself.”

Paavo lowered the gun. Woman? 

Those images returned but changed, as if the viewfinder had expanded; the walks through town staring back at those uneasy faces, the rides facing the sun’s descent. He didn’t come to Osaki alone. He could feel her hand in his.

Vale cut a line along the side of Joshua’s neck that made him recoil in terror and snapped Paavo back into reality.

“You can’t just walk into our home and make it yours. We run this place. We run this desert. We run the Reverse. You aren’t saving a goddamn thing.”

Paavo saw something stirring in the soil and sand between them. The vision of the woman was further buried back into the dark. His heart stopped. Something new had taken hold of him. There was a new fear. Paavo dropped the revolver. The Bastards pinned down had seen it too. Paavo heard the faint warnings of gutting his body and bleeding him dry. He paid no mind. None of them could see what was climbing from the hole that opened beside them. Something was digging its way up from a place much deeper than his grave. 

Claws cut through the ground like meat. Joshua and Vale followed Paavo as he circled the gang and the opening in the earth. The Bastards finally saw the creature that emerged. Their screams had changed from rage to fear. The monster was an indigo serpent. It held the face of a snake with yellowed eyes and needles for fangs. Its massive limbs were decorated with scales like embedded stones that collected at the top of its head like a crown. The creature’s hands and feet were pointed claws, bloodied from the climb to the surface. It let out a scream that cut through the wind. The sound chilled all of them. The Bastards hollered for someone to open fire. Vale was happy to oblige. 

The bullets cut the creature’s skin and blasted through its neon hide. Blood began to flow from its wounds like rivers. Tears ran down Joshua’s face as he looked back to the man running past the monster. Paavo reached for the sword and pulled it to his side as the creature rose back up. He grabbed at the gigantic hilt as if he was feeling for something. The Bastards were now free and joined in attacking with their leader. They opened fire together as the serpent had leapt into the air. The bullets that were lodged inside its skin had been pushed out by new blood and muscle. Its wounds had healed in seconds. The claws of the creature found a target. The blue haired Bastard crumpled under its weight. Its eyes found a spot of soft flesh and its fangs bit down. Its tongue tasted blood as its tail swung and leveled the others before they could react. The screams from Scab were sudden and sharp. The other Bastards scrambled to pull the creature from their fallen friend. Vale had left Joshua to join them. They cut and cut at the limbs with their blades. They shot bullets into its head point blank with their guns. The serpent continued to drink. They could not free Scab’s body from its unbreakable grip.

The sword of stone smashed open. Great fires exploded from the blade. The coating of black ash and molten rock were gone. Like a shell, fires cut through the cracks until the pressure became too much and its covering blasted off, sending shards in all directions. The creature’s flesh cut open, seared by pieces of shrapnel and the unknown substance that covered it. Vale’ eyes grew wide at the sight. The Bastards screamed out in fear. Joshua dropped to his knees.

A burning flame was exposed. Flares uprooted from the blade and spread out around its holder. Each flame moved as if it were alive, slithering back and forth across the blade. The sword was a body of fire, its limbs growing in length and width. Paavo gripped the hilt of the weapon. Feeling the weight, it became easier to lift as the fire burned greater. Power rushed through his body. He took deep breaths, inhaling the burning air. The pain in his heart went numb as the flame seared his chest and made him whole again. 

Paavo Harker no longer dreamt of fire. He was the fire. 

He placed the sword blade down into the sand. The flame poured from the edge like lava and became a river. Joshua called out to him. A strong wind cut through the air that silenced his voice. Paavo gripped the handle and felt the blade react. The fire pulsed and contracted, as if it were breathing. It adhered to his command. Paavo heard another voice, hidden behind the wind. It was too faint to make out but a feeling lingered. He felt the pangs of a deep hunger. The living flame moved with inhuman speed and encircled the creature. With another grip, the heat intensified and the creature relented. Scab screamed once he was free from its claws, in shock his skin was somehow unburned. The Bastards dropped their weapons and helped pull him back as the creature writhed in pain. 

“Please,” the voice returned. 

Paavo heard it now. He looked to the others around him, to see their mouths were still. 

“It burns.”

Paavo’s eyes returned to the creature as it spun in the sand to try and put out the fire.

“The pain,” it said.

The creature was speaking to him, Paavo realized. The flame continued to pulse. The screams from the creature turned to a piercing shriek. He remembered something from the black pool of his memory. The words were a simple phrase; a classification he had forgotten until then. 

“A Lesser Demon,” Paavo said.

The voice in his head continued to plead with him in his language.

“Help me,” said the Lesser Demon.

The voice grew softer. 

“Feed me,”

The pain behind its words hit him in the chest. 

“I’m sorry,” Paavo whispered.

The creature’s face turned to Paavo as the fire turned its brilliant neon skin into a blackened hide. The Bastards hollered in excitement. They raised their arms in victory. Paavo watched the creature’s eyes go soft. The screams had ceased as the fire claimed it. The desert was silent except for the crackling of meat and skin in the flame.

Paavo looked at Joshua. Tears streamed down the kid’s face. Paavo loosened his grip on the weapon and the fire died down. The corpse of the Lesser Demon was ash. Joshua screamed again. Vale fired a shot at Paavo. A column of flame took shape. The bullet never made it past the massive hand. The weapon acted on its own to protect its owner.

“In your blood, eh?” Vale called out.

The Bastards stepped over the remains of the Lesser Demon towards Paavo.

“Suppose we’ll be taking some of that blood too, along with the sword.”

Paavo gripped the handle of the blade. The living flame shifted and grew a deeper red. The Bastards stood still as they now felt a heat that was absent. 

“It listens to me,” Paavo murmured.

“It hurts who I want it to,” he said.

Scab reached out his hand and pulled it back once he felt the flame. 

“You a hunter?” Vale called out.

Every Bastard who had guns aimed them at the man in black.

“Something like that,” said Paavo.

The flame pulsed and became a line that divided the Bastards from Paavo and Joshua.

“You know about the demons?” Paavo asked.

Vale nodded.

“I told you. We grew up out here. We see them. We survive them,” he said.

Joshua stood behind Paavo and the sword of fire. Vale walked up to the dividing line. He touched the fire and licked his fingers once he felt the heat.

“You trapped it down there, didn’t you?” asked Paavo.

Vale walked alongside the barrier of fire.

“We did. The only way to stop them was starvation,” he said before turning back to the sword.

“That is, until now,” said Vale. 

“You aren’t terrorizing the town. You’re trying to protect them,” Paavo realized.

“The kids you take from Osaki? Stolen?” he asked.

“Volunteers. At least, once they see the monsters, they all take the vow to join us and keep the pact.”

Paavo cut a glance at Joshua. He stood shivering, still terrified. 

“We’re all servants of the desert,” said Vale.

“How many of you Bastards are there?” asked Paavo.

“Not a lot of us. You see how strong these things are. You see how fast they heal. Everything living needs to eat, though,” said Vale.

The leader of the Bastards turned his head to the sand. His face changed to something broken.

“If the town saw what was really outside those walls, there would never be peace. A lot of brothers have given their lives to the Reverse.” 

Vale’s eyes seem to trace a line in the sand. 

“You think you can protect them with what I have?” asked Paavo.

“I know I can. You coming here was a gift. What made you come down here anyway?” Vale pressed his hand against the fire.

Paavo said nothing. He couldn’t remember.

“Can your sword stop a bullet when you sleep?” Vale asked. 

Paavo did not respond. The heat from the fire grew more intense. 

“Okay, hero,” said Vale. 

He pointed his knife at Joshua.

“Can you walk the boy back to the city? It’s about twenty miles from here.”

Paavo stayed silent as the fire continued to burn atop the sand.

“Don’t talk much do you?”

Paavo twisted the handle of the weapon and Vale felt the pulsing flame surround his feet. He watched it coil like a serpent and rest in a perfect circle.

“I thought you were a brotherhood of understanding, and forgiveness,” said Paavo.

Vale laughed and snapped his fingers. The Bastards joined him as they put their guns away.

“How about this, then?” We’ll take your boy home back to mama since you saved mine,” Vale offered.

Paavo looked to Joshua, who turned to see the remains of the demon and the ruined vehicle before agreeing.

“Say thank you, Scabby,” said Vale.

Scab sneered and wiped something wet from his nose.

“Much appreciated,” he spat.

Paavo lessened his grip on the sword. Vale waited for the circle of fire to wane before he stepped over it. He walked to the Bastards’ jeep. Inside was a pile of guns, grenades and a blue cooler that carried its own scars and burns. Vale opened the wounded cooler and pulled out a bottle of water. 

“I can see now why they’re scared of you,” said Vale.

He walked back to the fire and tossed it. Paavo caught it with his empty hand.

“Who?” asked Paavo.

Vale smiled and light reflected off those gold teeth.

“The people in town,” he said.

Will they come for him? For the sword?

Paavo did not let go of the weapon. The thirst for water cut a hole in his throat.

“You take the boy home. You leave the family alone. If not, you will be seeing me again,” said Paavo.

Scab called Joshua over. He caught eyes with Paavo and mouthed the words “thank you”.

Vale waited for the Bastards to start the jeep, then walked to Paavo. He took his knife and pointed it to Paavo’s hand.

“The sword’s still mine. Be seeing you,” said Vale.

Paavo finally smiled. A strong wind blew past them both, pushing sand in their eyes and ears.

“Bullets?” asked Paavo.

Vale raised an eyebrow.

“What bullets?” he asked.

Paavo opened his jacket to show him the empty Desert Eagle.

“Oh yeah. Those bullets,” Vale laughed.

He searched his jean pockets for a clip and tossed it to Paavo’s feet. As he turned back towards the jeep, Paavo called to him.

“If you can carry it, you’re welcome to take it,” he said. 

Vale thought about trying it, but remembered his men struggling for air beneath the massive weapon and let it go. He saluted Paavo with the tip of his knife. Within seconds, the jeep blew past him and hit the highway. Paavo waited for them to be out of sight to exhale. He took his hand off the sword. The living flame split into twin rivers, one receded into the blade and the other found a home in Paavo’s chest. The fire slithered across his clothes and skin like it mimicked the serpent it had just slain. The flame coiled and nestled into the hole in his chest. The pain that greeted him every morning was smothered away; buried in fresh, cauterized skin.

Paavo took a sip of the bottled water. He felt something churn inside him and he emptied his stomach onto the sand. The liquid was a mixture of red and pink that swirled and puddled near his boots. A dizzy spell shook him and Paavo fell to the sand. His weapon crashed to the ground next to him with a heavy thud. He drank more water and covered his eyes from the sun. The silver clouds had parted. The heat from above poured onto the desert and the roads that stretched beyond. Paavo took another sip of water and got to his feet. His legs shivered. Paavo bent down to pick up his clip. The bullets were still there. Paavo pulled the massive sword onto his shoulders and began the walk on the highway back to Osaki.

The mile markers were solemn reminders of how far he had to go. Paavo draped the sword across his shoulders and stayed on the shoulder of the road in case the Bastards returned. The sound of his boots hitting the pavement became a rhythm. How was he able to carry the sword? Paavo searched the dark of his mind for an explanation. It was given to him. He could see the room, somewhere in the distance where the road met the sky. The room was near the highest point of a skyscraper. He was brought there as a guest. Paavo was presented the sword by men and women in hooded gowns adorned with gold. 

He stopped to breathe and take small sips of water. The wind smacked him across the face and brought no relief. Paavo walked with the pain and took small draws from the bottle until it was empty. The brilliant colors of sky had disappeared from his sight. Without clouds to block the light, the desert was now a glowing white. The glow had brought its own pain in extreme heat. Perhaps it was karma for revealing the flame to the Bastards back there. 

What was it those men and women said to him? He began to feel a thousand images and words, memories of a life so removed from the desert, all happening at once. Paavo spoke the words to himself, like telling a story. He felt his thoughts solidify like colors on a blank canvas. 

Hundreds of years ago, a weapon was carved from the stone of the mountain, the heaviest rock. Some say it was tempered in the fires of hell. As such, it was the only way to scar the flesh of the demons. It was called the Nameless. There were no identifiable markings on the blade or handle. People from all walks of life had come far and wide to put their hands on it. It was said that no one could lift it from its stone sanctuary. No one could lift it until it was given to him. He was told he was special. The ones draped in gold spent years trying to find him and others like him. Paavo was told his father was a fallen angel who came to Earth and made a son with a human woman. This bloodline of divine right was kept secret. Their secret was protected until the day that those rejected from heaven would flood the world. There was a name they gave to those born of angel and human. 

Nephilim. 

He didn’t know what it meant.

They told him the archangel Michael wielded the same sword. The Nameless would guide those who remained after the flood to paradise.

“The flame of God,” someone said that night.

Paavo remembered a promise to keep it hidden. How long had it been since he had seen a demon? The designation of the serpent even, Lesser Demon, implied there were greater ones. He stopped under a sign that said something was fifteen miles away. The old name had been painted over with black and red splashes. The shadow cast by the sign was a brief reprieve from the white hot sun. The words stared back at him;

“Hole, two miles. Osaki, fifteen miles,” it warned.

The hole was one of many gateways; the bleeding edge of the Underworld that slowly crept into the human world once those holes had opened. Beyond the gates, were the mirror image of the desert, a twisted reflection of the human world; the Reverse.

He took a deep breath, dropped the bottle and continued his walk back to the city.  The heat pushed down on him with every step. Sweat had pooled on his arms, legs, chest and neck. Paavo counted the miles with each marker passed. There were no cars coming or going. The only sound besides his breath and boots was the wind. The weight of the weapon on his back kept him steady as he fell back into the images he lost to the Lesser Demon. Paavo kept one eye open to focus on the road ahead and he stepped back into the dark to catch a glimpse of her.

Excerpt: chapter one

I was alive in a city of fire. The city was lost, enveloped by dark, towering flames that rose from the earth. I stood here and watched it take place. The street was, for a moment, normal. I stood here in the middle, blocking a lane of traffic; amidst the angrily passing cars, people in suits, throwing the familiar strange and hateful glances at me, walking to work, under the cloudless sky, the sun, under these buildings of concrete, stone and steel. The earth then moved. Its plates shifted and the ground beneath my feet began to rise. The people around me began to scream and run away from the scene. I felt it expand, there were long patches of concrete that began to separate, the darkness of tunnels and the smell of sewers below. I looked toward the people running, the street had cracked, its fissures followed those who fled, I saw the cracks overwhelm and surround them. It splintered off and re-connected in the center, few feet before me. It ached from some unknown tension and force, the concrete broke apart and then went back together, almost as if it were driven by breath, a living entity. The darkness beneath the breathing stone grew red. Pressure gained, steam begun to seethe through. The ground shook heavily, the people all around me fell to their knees but I kept my stance. I looked above and saw the sky turn black. Thunder struck. It was deafening, but I could hear the people scream with fear. The tremors and steam had reached a fever pitch.

The screams grew louder into almost shrieks of pain. I saw the steam; the burning air had melted their feet to the ground. They were trapped; I looked quickly down to my feet. A blast of steam before me and yet, they remained unscathed…and then another blast…The street had exploded, shattered stone blasted into the sky. The largest hole in the ground opened and revealed the core of the earth.


Fire spilled out onto the street, it covered the crowds of frantic people all around me, it passed over them like rushing water. A stray flame had struck my skin, and yet, I felt no pain. My clothes, my suit of white remained untouched. The others around me did not share my fortune. It

had swallowed them whole, others who tried to escape it, could not outrun the flames. It followed them, it moved as if it were alive, breathing, like the streets that it shattered like glass to make it through to the outside world. It covered them, burned them until nothing was left and pulled their remains back into the pits that had collected into the pitch darkness in the center. The cracks in the earth soon stretched out, followed the path of streets that lead away from me, and the fires burned through them, pulling in everything within its path…until they were out of my sight. It must have covered the entire city. I began to follow the flames.

I walked for what felt like hours. Every street looked the same. Open holes into hell, human beings burning alive, screaming. The buildings had cracked and crumbled. The flames had cracked windows and entered. It had burned them from the inside out, and they shattered and fell to the ground before me. Pieces of the rubble and glass had cut me. I had not bled. The stone and cement walls were lost to the fire. Those who were still alive inside the fire, looked at me in the midst of the agony, they reached out what was left of their hands, pleading for help. I could not face them. I turned away, from their screams, from their eyes. They were watching as

I walked away from them. The screaming did not stop. It echoed in my mind, I felt the eyes upon me, their voices seemed inches away. My suit of white shined on between the suffering. The fires had begun to connect. From the place where I stood, following the miles I had walked. At last, the fires linked together, the holes had filled with the lava that covered and carried the remains of these damned and became a river of blood and flame.


I walked along as the cries grew louder as the shells of their bodies floated by. I looked to the black sky. Thunder slammed the dark emptiness above me. My eyes followed the river, until I reached the center of the city, the downtown towers.

The tower was massive. It was all that remained of the city. I turned around and saw the burning wasteland. The river of death had run through the landscape, collecting into a pool here, beneath the tower, the altar that it had become. It had become hell. This is meant to be punishment, their punishment. Why had I been spared this pain and suffering? What had I done to be placed among the devastation, but somehow allowed to escape their fate? The flames gathered at the base. The noise of the people, the screams of damned began to build in volume as the fire climbed up the stone giant, toward the black skies. I began to feel different, the fire overcame the tower. I saw the people within the river, their eyes and their hands, reaching towards me, peering inside me. I closed my eyes. They were instilled inside my mind. I then began to see things, terrible things surrounding those inside this river.

I saw their sins…their mistakes…their every judgment they had passed onto those weaker than they. I saw the businessman, walking down the street as he rushes past a homeless man on the curb. He was there, in the river, burning next to the man that he refused to help. I watched the mother too concerned with the night life to take care of her children, she lay there in the fire with her own children. They lie there and suffer with her neglect. Each time I looked past another dying man or woman, I looked into their eyes and saw their fear, their cowardice. I began to hate them. They had done so little so save themselves or those around them. I felt no

pity for them anymore. I enjoyed being in this suit, walking upon fire, being spared the spears of Hell.


I enjoyed it more and more as I realized that this was somehow my reward. I saw their children in these fires. I smiled at them as they burned. Everything in this world they gained, tainted and then turned away, for this they would dwell in this hell. It can only be theirs and theirs alone… this is not my hell. I could see every sordid scenario with each of them, each

burning face had a story to tell. Young men and women, corrupted by fate; the choices of their creators, they will pay for all they’ve done. It is in their destiny to be punished, and this justified my hatred so much, I could not help but laugh at them. They chose this fate and they will pay for it. All of them.

The tower was quaking under the pressure, the pull of the flames; it was the beckon and call of Hell. Its majestic gray stone architecture began to fall away, revealing the black steel girders that made up its skeleton. The steel would never stand the fire; the bars bent and burned dark red. The remnants of the tower began to sway back and forth over the wasteland and I. The bars broke in half and the tower finally fell to the ground, with epic crashes and deafening booms, the city had finally been claimed. Hell had made its final signature here, I surveyed the surroundings, nothing had been left, it was all but darkness above fire, and I felt good. There was no remorse, no regret, and no fear of what may come. This was just, and I was glad they were all in Hell for what they had done.

The wasteland was endless, as I walked on from the melting ruins of the tower. I walked the streets through the old neighborhoods, the places that I walked through as a child. This was where I found my life. I spent my days of childhood in the village, away from the city. There were days where my parents would take me to the city to experience culture; experience and education were sheltered by the strict morality of the older generation. My family. I came to this city young to escape them.


When my parents could not bring themselves to leave this place, I lived a life on the streets without them. The guidance, the control of other people they could not offer, I found it in the streets which I walk on now. These streets now destroyed these grounds that gave structure to adolescence without rules and boundaries. I found myself educated by passing faces, all of them that I remember, giving a small child a piece of wisdom before disappearing into the grinding machinery of city progress and cutthroat business. I had walked past the main roads of the city and into the park. This place, where I first learned of pain; a scraped knee and my father’s comfort kept me alive. His words were always meant to settle anxiety; they didn’t settle anything except doubt inside his own mind. He helped me back up from off the ground, he said to me:

“No wounds are made without a reason…”

My first memories in this park, running through the swings, laughing at the sun, so many childish things that I had loved were now reduced to ash and black steel. I had not truly looked at myself as the city burned. The crowds of people that rushed the streets were wearing rags, clothes torn by time not by fire. I looked down awaiting the vision of torn clothes and limbs covered with dirt. I saw myself for the first time, a white suit, clean and perfect. Through the ruins of the park, I followed a path to the street where I was born. The twisted steel had made a path for me. I took it. The houses were rubble and ash. The people in the street, burning and dying before me. I saw the men, the women and children of my childhood, aged now; torn by time and their avarice, they are now tortured with fire while I look on wrapped in this suit. I could not save them, why was I to remain unscathed? The answer dawned upon me as I walked away from their withering bodies, that I chose to save myself over them. I am here because I am alive and they are not, I am here because I chose myself over all else. I couldn’t save them, I didn’t want to save them.


They were already dead, the moment they chose to run from their punishment. They knew the choices they made, the sins committed on this earth; to neglect, to take for granted. I had seen them my entire life. They deserved the fire…

A sharp cry scorched my ears, it shook what remained of the ground and I felt my spine tremble. I tried to keep away from it. Somehow, I was drawn to the sound; horrible screams emanating from some dark place. This was different than the screams of the others, I could feel it. I followed it, more and more the noise grew louder, as if the scream was coming from two inches away, I could not find it. The pain was searing, I stopped at this old woman rolling in the streets. I walked toward the woman, knelt down to look at her. She was naked, clothes either lost in the fire or permanently embedded into her skin. The smoke that seemed to flow off her shoulders hit my senses. Her chest covered in black, the shawl that she wore was burned into her. Her screams turned to whimpers as I approached her, I placed one hand on her back, and the whimpers stopped. Her body rolled over to reveal her face; burned, with no hair, two thick black holes where her eyes may have resided. She opened her mouth; a tongue fell out, black and burned beyond use, her teeth cracked and brittle, falling out at the first moments of speaking.

She opened her mouth;

“Bless me father, for I have sinned against man”

She spoke as she took my hands, caressing them, looking to me for some kind of comfort. I could not provide any words; this woman had to deserve this, didn’t she? I could not see her punishment. She had no feelings of regret, no desire to be spared. She felt pure to me. Why was she subject to this? The entire city was dying. I had never felt this purity in any of the others. Their greed, their selfish, thoughtless nature, did not reside in this cursed, old woman.


My thoughts were cut short by her pleading words again;

“Please father, bless me and wash away these wounds”

She placed her head into my hands, the blood from the holes in her eyes flowed into my hands.

“I am sorry, but I am not a holy man, what can I do for you?”

She began to cry, and she rose off the ground. Her brittle legs gained some kind of strength and she stumbled away from me crying, she threw her hands into the air, and the cries became laughter. I looked at her, and rose from my feet. She turned towards me and laughed at me, she pointed and screamed;

“You did this, didn’t you? Don’t lie to me…I know who you are…you are a devil…you are Satan.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You have destroyed us! You have spared yourself the wrath of God.”

She came closer to me, pointing her finger, accusingly.

“You have turned away from your own sins and brought this upon us…”

She came face to face with me, touching my suit, which I had begun to loathe. This woman was burned alive, and here I stand in perfect white, what had I done? What did I deserve?

“You put this punishment upon the world around you, to protect yourself…you coward.”

“I am not a coward”

“Liar!”

 I felt a skeletal hand slap my face, I felt no pain. I looked at her with anger, I wanted to strike her down. Some ideal of respect had held me back. Why?

“Do you think that you are better than all of us, than I? Do you feel that you deserve no punishment? Who are you? Who do you think you are?”

I struggled to find my name. What is my name? My name…

“……My name is…Paavo.”

Her hand grabbed at my throat, her face becoming closer to mine, I couldn’t breathe, and she began to breathe in my air. I could feel the air leaving me, I began to suffocate. I couldn’t breathe; I did not want to die, in front of this woman, here, in this place. Did it matter? If all others were dead and gone, what meaning did my life, being spared these fires, take on?

“Get away from me!!!”

I threw her hand off of my throat and pushed her to the ground. She laughed again, becoming louder and louder until my ears began ringing. The first pain I have felt, blood flowed from my ears, tears from my eyes and I screamed for her to stop. Her body began to rise off of the ground. Floating there, she began to speak again;

“This is all it is, my son…All you receive for choosing yourself over all. All you receive for ignoring your sins, your mistakes, your choices…”

She flew towards me with incredible speed, grabbing my neck again. I could not remove her hand. Her grip was built from a new found strength. I was lost under her control. She began to rise into the sky, taking her with me. We reached a point high over the city, underneath the black and endless sky.

Look at them!!! These are the prisoners of hope, faith and belief! Cast away all your notions of right and wrong, behold the consequence for your life. Suffering and death was inevitable. It was inescapable, this human nature.”

I saw the bodies, the dying, all of them, all sinners and no saints, I was no different than them. We rose higher into the darkness of the sky. The fires became nothing but red circles underneath the black ocean that we burned past. The city below me left my sight. I looked into the sky; our rising bodies began to increase in speed. Wind shredded past us, burning my eyes, I could not see, tears began to pour down into my hands, trying to cover the blinding pain. My body felt the crushing weight of space, pushing down upon it. I couldn’t breath, my chest constricted, I shook uncontrollably. I screamed to stop, but I was helpless under the woman’s grasp.


Faster and faster we climbed the darkness, she spoke again;

“Is this what you wanted? A purgatory? A place of apathy where fools reside? Of course, why else would you condemn your own kind…When you take your freedom as paradise, and rape its simple truth, you had a choice, and you chose to save yourself.”

“What are you?” words were all I could manage out of my struggling breath.

Her body began to change before me, the bones burned and seething grew plain white skin deep from within itself. The skin covered her body whole, the new shell of white began to glow;

“I can show you things, my son. I will show you price and consequence. I will show you fate and destiny.” 

Black hair grew from her head, her arms and legs. The teeth that replaced the open, bleeding mouth were sparkling white. The new eyes that were birthed from the darkness within the two empty spaces of her head, deep and green. This woman let go of my throat, and I floated in this space. The sky of black shattered open, dark clouds stormed around us, revealing white light from above. The woman before me was not the woman I had found begging on the grounds of fire and sin. She was reformed, reborn, now adorned with robes as white and perfect as the suit I found myself in. Her black hair and green eyes struck me with shocking familiarity. It was as though I had known this woman my entire life, in thoughts and dreams and other places.

“….Mother? ….I…..Mother, what’s going on? What is happening to me?”

She smiled at me, it comforted me instantly. I felt my defiance crumble and contract into a ball that I put into my pocket, like a novelty or something left and forgotten on the ground for a child to take and love for its simplicity.


“My child, you must never forget what you are…this whole time; you have taken your gifts for granted. Even now, those people under you, are paying their own price, as well as yours…I am no different from you or them…”

She came down from her elevated state, her hand graced my cheek, and I felt safe. The white light had now overtaken the darkness around us. I found myself between the white clouds above and the black abyss below, dark red flames that reached and pushed to touch me, dark flames that burned and purged those people to this moment, still they screamed. Mother grabbed my hand and spoke softly;

“Paavo, never forget this moment, as you will learn the cost of choice.”

Tears filled my eyes. I looked up to the light above us. I saw a man, walking towards my mother and I. White robes matching those of my mother, his blonde hair and brown eyes scorched my fears and doubts as to why this was happening. I was frozen again…

“Father?”

“My son.”

His voice was deep and booming.

“You have been spared the fire, but you will not be spared judgment”.

My mother’s unbreakable grip returned and I was unable to pull away from her. Her hands returned to my throat as she held me down. My father elevating above us, his white robes fly open to reveal a gleaming black axe.

Be quiet, my child.” She whispered into my ears.

My father took the axe into his hands. I floated there, between the dark and the light; helpless, dying and facing the punishment of my actions. My suit of white was false, I should have known. The black below and the white above.


Heaven and hell.

My father lifted the axe, memories and images flashed through my mind, too quick to cherish, too short to remember. He raised the axe as if it was his newborn son. Before he died, before he knew that his son was damned as well as himself. The axe from heaven fell to my neck…

Then…no pain…only darkness again…

Paavo Harker awoke to an empty bed and a dark apartment. His heart ached as a grim reminder that he was still alive.