weak
I was supposed to be strong today
but I can’t,
the weight on this mind is too heavy right now
to keep from cursing those nearest to the stone,
the mouth is bitter with words
I told you I was better than,
with all I’ve forgiven of you
still so much unsettled in me,
memory is too good to not replay
the record of our better moments
when we hate each other,
forget our progress
and choose venom,
I cannot be what I promised
but maybe tomorrow
the sickness will be buried
under the pain of hands clasped so tight
the bones ache
but for now I dedicate every minute of the day
to easy outs, familiar demons, disrespect
this fatigue is so strong
ask for forgiveness, strength
maybe tomorrow
I won’t sit in corners
crafting theories for my every misfortune
ignoring every mirror in this house,
eyes do nothing now but seed doubt
when I need this anger the most
to put these words down somewhere,
a record of my worst moments
gain another page in the book of another man
too sick of himself,
maybe I will put down the stone
choose to carry my women
place them higher on the mountain
than they were before,
maybe tomorrow
today, I am weak
podcast:
https://anchor.fm/outliergentlemen/episodes/Episode-16-Obnoxicity-e4ht92
books:
shadowart 